40 More Great Flight Simulator Adventures

by Charles Gulick

Which Way
Is UP?

North Position: 21308	Throttle: 16383 (all except IBM)
East Position: 6588	Rudder: 32767
Altitude: 2000	Ailerons: 32767
Pitch: 7	Flaps: 0
Bank: 177	Elevators: 18943 (IBM only)
Heading: 314	Elevators: 27647 (all except IBM)
Airspeed: 106 (IBM only)	Time: 9:00
Airspeed: 123 (all except IBM)	Season: 3-Summer
Throttle: 14335 (IBM only)	Wind: 6 Kts, 315

Note: The fuel starvation described here occurs only in Cessna.

What kind of weird sky and what kind of crazy landscape is this? I'm not so sure I relish flying with you after all. Some of your antics are really questionable.

   Okay, you're upside down. You might as well just hang in there. Give me some time to think. The longer you hang here the better.

   I knew it! I knew it! The engine quit. How do you expect gravity to feed fuel to the engine if the fuel's lower than the engine?

   I expect you to get me safely on the ground at Snohomish. Right side up.

   Just don't forget that everything's backward now. To see more sky, you have to put your nose down and vice versa.

   Throttle won't do you any good when there's no engine, my friend. And the only way to get your engine back is to put the horizon back where it belongs. I don't care what you do or how you do it. But do something!

   Who, me? Don't ask me how to get out of this situation. You're the one who's in the left seat. You're supposed to be flying the airplane.

   In fact, I don't have to stay in this airplane at all. And I'm not. I'm leaving. Now. Exactly the way I came. I'm exiting the word processor and the whole deal. Right here.

   Speaking of hanging, once you get the hang of this, you can test yourself and see how long you can stay upside down. Crackups, of course, disqualify a try. Check your clock at the outset, then check it again when you turn right side up. See if you can keep beating your own record.

   Maybe you should start a competition with your simulator friends. Organize a club. Design buttons and get yourselves some T-shirts. Create stickers for your car windows. Publish a club newsletter. Have little "Upside-Downer" outings and picnics. Maybe get a baseball team going. Get your local newspaper to do an article. There are all kinds of neat things you can do with your new club.

   If that's how you think, then count me out!

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